The Short shorts
by Lt-Riza-Humphrey
Summary: Where David hunter is president and makes all female officers wear mini-skirts. but, however, Riza Humphrey has something else in mind...


I stood there, my eyes slightly wide, staring straight in front of me, with sweat dribbling down my face.

Mini-skirts have been approved for the women's uniform by the new President.

David Hunter.

Oh my God.

I blinked away the shock and stared at David, of whom was watching me with an amused smirk on his face.

The men who were standing beside me; Storm, James, Bryce, Frently, and Mayhal. The usual gang, got down upon their knees and started groveling happily at David's feet.

David happily took in all the groveling and praise, his eyes still on me: Riza Humphrey who refused to move or make a sound.

- The Next Morning -

I stood, staring at the package that had just been delivered to my apartment. It was only 7 am, but I was wide awake as usual at this time.

Was this a joke...?

I held up the mini-skirt, if it could be called that. It was hardly long enough to cover my fat ass.

"Damn you David, ..."I muttered, storming into my room and slamming the door as hard as I could, causing Sayate to poke his head out of the kitchen, a piece of cheese in his mouth and the fridge door hanging wide open.

- At The Head Quarters -

David was happily strolling along the corridors, taking in the 'sights'. So far, all the women who were wearing the mini-skirts had no problem except embarrassment and rather high-pitched squealing of horror whenever someone walked past and looked at them, while they were trying to pull their skirts down so it wouldn't show off their asses.

David wandered through the corridors toward the front door and stopped dead.

Humphrey had just walked in, a very nice sight indeed. But she was not wearing the mini-skirt that was now part of the dress code.

She was wearing short shorts.

David whimpered as his little alter ego squealed at the top of its lungs and fainted from a nose bleed.

David had always wondered what kind of legs Humphrey had. The baggy pants of which used to be the dress code didn't help him find out at all. But now he had seen them, he was now very impressed.

They were very wonderful.

Curvy and certainly the kind that you would think a person who worked out often, would have.

"Sir?"

David blinked numerous times to clear his mind as those wonderful legs walked over to him.

"You okay, sir? You're bleeding." I said, raising a hand and touching David under his nose, wiping away the blood that was dribbling down from it.

David quickly clapped a hand over his nose. "It's nothing, Humphrey! Nothing!"

I looked confused at him, Sayate sitting next to me, sniffing my fingers which had David's blood on them.

"I'll be back with you as soon as I put my stuff away, sir." I said professionally, walking around David and past him, with Sayate following at my heels.

David took this opportunity to have a look at how good the short shorts look on Humphrey from the back.

Riza was too far down the hall to hear the blood from behind David's hand fall to the ground with a dull 'thud'.

I walked through the corridors confidently, ignoring the stares she was getting from female and male officers alike, putting my stuff down on my desk, placing Sayate on her chair and telling him to 'watch the paperwork.'

Ignoring the confused look on Sayate's face, I turned and walked back through the doors, looking for Hunter.

I didn't have to look far to find my President, he was sitting on a bench with James and Storm, kneeling in front of him and tending to him with tissues.

"What the hell happened?" I asked, standing behind Storm, staring at David of whom was covered in blood and had a tissue firmly clamped over his nose, with a dazed look on his face.

"He said he saw Humphrey's-"Storm started, turning around to be face to face with Riza's beautifully bare thighs.

"Uuuuuuu..."

Thud!

I looked down at the blood-fountain coming from Storm's nose, then at James of whom was bright red and determinedly not looking at her.

David waved a hand, motioning that James could go, the strong-man quickly sweeping from the scene.

I sighed and took a tissue, still behind Storm's motionless body and dabbing at the blood on Hunter's soaked shirt.

"Why did you have to wear short shorts, lieutenant?" Hunter asked in a thick voice as I took his heavy great coat off him and folded it, with the tissue still over his nose.

"They're longer than the skirt, and at least I don't have to be worried about men peeking at my underwear." I said simply, starting to undo the President's short-coat, which was, too, covered in his own blood.

Hunter blinked stupidly as I pushed the short coat off his shoulders, stepping forward a little, tripping on Storm's motionless body, causing myself to lose my balance and fall onto David's lap.

The two of us stared at each other in silence, my arms over David shoulders, one knee in between his legs and the other dangling over the edge of the bench, the two of them practically nose to nose besides the fact that David had a hand over his.

I faintly saw that the tissue that was covering his nose went even more red.

Storm shook his head and slowly opened his eyes, wiping under his nose with the back of his hand, his head felt light from losing so much blood.

He was about to ask the question: 'Where am I?' however, something caught his attention.

A slim, curvy leg was trailed over his chest.

Storm followed the length of the bare leg with his eyes and they widened in shock at what he saw.

First lieutenant Riza Humphrey, on the lap of President David Hunter. Both of them silently looking into each other's eyes, Humphrey's arms over Hunter's shoulders and his arms hanging by his sides.

Storm slowly got a very evil idea and slipped out from under Humphrey's leg and under the bench the two were on silently, an evil grin on his face.

I had never noticed how deep David's eyes were, they were filled with bottled up emotions like a soda in a can. Maybe he wasn't just a perverted dumb-ass.

I then felt fingertips trail up my thigh.

Okay, maybe he was just a perverted dumb-ass.

David dragged his eyes over Riza's face. Her sharp eyebrows, her small nose, her full, moist, pouting peach lips...

"Sir, please don't touch my legs!" I said in a really high pitched voice, making Hunter blink.

"I didn't." he said simply, raising his eyebrows at why she would think such a thing.

I blinked. "But... You..."

"AH!" Hunter was shoved forward by an unknown thing and fell off the bench, catching Humphrey just in time, on all fours, but with one arm around Humphrey's waist.

My eyes were wide, my arms tight around Hunter's neck as he got up, pulling me to my feet also. I could feel his rippling muscles through his blood stained white cotton shirt. He smelt nice too... I never went by people about their scents, but David's scent was an interesting one.

Something in between ice cream, lighting fluid and steel...

Storm was happy with himself. He was grinning under the bench after having trailed his fingers up Humphrey's thigh to check if she had liked that, and then pushed Hunter onto Humphrey by slipping his arm up in between the bench and the wall because she didn't. So far, his plan to get the two of them together, was going reasonably as planned.

David was silent as he slipped his other arm around Riza's waist. He couldn't help liking the feeling of her boobs against his chest. They were warm and soft through his and Riza's clothing. He tried not to think about what it would feel like without the clothing in between, but it was just too tempting. Not to mention if he looked down a tiny bit over her shoulder he could see her short shorts and nicely shaped ass.

I loosened my arms around David's neck and buried my face in the crook of his neck. "Thank you, sir."

"Don't mention it." David said hoarsely, the mental images of him and Riza having successfully killed his alter ego from blood loss.

"Oh, just kiss already!" Storm shouted.

My and David's eyes widened to the size of a cats and they sprang apart, staring at the bench.

There was nothing but complete silence for five minutes before I took out a gun and pointed it at the bench.

Storm poked his head out from under the bench, grinning slyly.

I cocked the gun.

"Calm down, lieutenant." Hunter sighed, crossing his arms, looking down at Storm.

I looked like I was about to disobey, but finally un-cocked the gun and placed it in its holster, Storm letting out a small sigh of relief.

"What do you think you were doing there, Storm?" David asked, looking down at his blood-ridden shirt, tugging it a little.

"Trying to get you two together." Storm said bluntly, sliding out from under the bench and heaving himself onto it.

"And why, were you trying to do that?" Hunter said delicately, looking at Storm.

Storm grinned. "You like Humphrey, she likes you too. Just simple math, sir."

"Math, you say?" David asked, shifting his weight to a different foot.

"Yep! Girl plus a guy, minus the clothes, divide the legs, and hope that they won't multiply!" Storm laughed.

I placed a hand on my forehead silently, as though it gave me a headache at how innocently crude Storm had just been.

David placed a hand under his nose and quickly rubbed away the small amount of blood that had appeared there. "Where did you learn that kind of math, Storm?"

Bryant Storm was silent, scratching his head, a small confused look on his face. "No idea, sir."

"Well, try it out on one of your girlfriends and not on us." David sighed, glancing over at Riza, who had an slighter pink tinge to her cheeks than usual. "Do you have anything to add, lieutenant?"

I shook my head, not removing my hand from my forehead.

"Right. Off you go, Storm." David sighed, making shooing motions with his hands, Storm grinning and walking off down the hall.

David looked over at Riza to see her massaging her temples with her fingers, eyes closed, a small frown and pink blush on her face.

Hunter rose his eyebrows at how cute that even slighter than usual, amount of pink on her cheeks made her. It made her look more feminine and cute... Not to mention just plain sexy with those short shorts.

David silently wondered how far Riza would let him go with Storm's version of math.

I opened my eyes, letting my hands fall to my sides, the frown still in place, the blush on my cheeks unknown to me.

"Humphrey, you really should wear short shorts more often." David smirked.

I rolled my eyes. I only wore the short shorts because I didn't want men staring at my damn underwear, not because Hunter was a 'leg man'. Yes, I knew David loved legs. I had noticed all the women that he dated had beautiful, long legs. Just something that you notice occasionally.

I felt a soft hand trail up my back and place itself on my shoulder. I turned and looked at the President curiously.

"You should look more feminine, more often, lieutenant." David breathed, wrapping his arms around me.

I shrugged lightly, my face buried in the crook of his neck, not knowing why David was hugging me, however, I didn't mind. Feeling Hunter pull away a little, I looked up at him.

The two of us looked into each other's eyes again, completely silent.

Hunter needed to find out what she'd do. How she felt. So he lightly leant in and pressed his lips against hers, savoring the feeling of her soft, moist lips against his for only a second or two before pulling back.

Hunter looked into my wide, hazel eyes.

She tested like gunpowder and sugar...

Watching...

Waiting...

He was ready for a slap. A scream. A gasp. Anything. Even a kick in the balls. He just needed to know her feelings!

David felt Riza's arms move away from around his waist, his worst fears confirmed. She had no feeling for him.

But before he could turn and start beating the shit out of himself for feeling so heavily about her, Humphrey's arms slipped around his neck.

"Lieuten-?" Hunter started, but he was pushed back against the wall, with those soft, peach lips against his own.

David's eyes rolled in his sockets fluttered closed, his arms tightening around my waist. I moved closer, my arms tightening around his neck.

She did have feelings for him...

David tested his boundaries.

David slipped his tongue out of his mouth and swept it against the seam of Riza's lips, he was more than a little surprised when Riza's mouth opened with no hesitation, her tongue coaxing his into her mouth.

After a few minutes, David and I broke apart, panting slightly for breath.

"Coconut toothpaste?" David panted, smirked and cocking an eyebrow.

I looked away and blushed, a huge smile on my face.

"Of course, you know I like almost anything coconut!" I laughed.

David chuckled and pressed his lips against mine again, I immediately returned the kiss.

"See? Simple math. Now you have to do the rest of the equation!"

My and David's eyes snapped open and they whipped around to see the whole gang, including Addam, Aarron, Whitney, all standing there and grinning and laughing, Storm at the front.

James happily sparkled at the back, tears streaming down his cheeks. Aarron and Whitney grinned, their cheeks solid pink. Addam just stood there, his eyebrows raised and Storm grinned happily as though he just tricked someone to do his own bidding.

"Go on! Go do the rest of the equation!" Storm laughed, grabbing me and Hunter, shoving us out of the building, the rest of the gang following, watching Storm as though he was a crazy person, which, he usually is when he's playing the 'Mr. Matchmaker'.

"And if we don't?" Hunter asked lazily, looking at Storm, with an arm over my shoulders.

I got out my gun behind my back and pressed the muzzle of it into Hunter's ribs, looking indifferent on the outside. I didn't run on batteries, you know... There is a certain line where a full-grown young woman can go without having a sex-life, and my workload only just kept that line back.

Storm sighed heavily, closing the door and grinning at them through the glass, giving them a wink before walking off with the rest of the gang.

Hunter winced as the gun twisted in his ribs and looked down at Humphrey, who was still looking at the doors.

"Don't get it much, do you?" Hunter asked simply, a small smirk on his face.

"It's not part of my job." I said determinedly, giving Hunter a meaningful look while I put my gun back in its holster.

David smirked, glancing down at the short shorts Humphrey was still wearing.

"Let's just call it a 'punishment'."

"Punishment for what, sir?"

"Not abiding by the dress code."

"Oh, come now... Sir. Those skirts were shorter than my shorts..."

"Exactly."

"What is the point of me wearing a mini-skirt anyway, sir? I need you to take me seriously."

"I'll take you seriously after I've added the next rule of how secretaries, such as yourself, can and will, sit on my lap during work hours."

"... I am not a secretary, and you are unbelievable, sometimes..."

"And you love me for it."

"... True..." I muttered.

"... You do have that gun un-cocked, right?" He laughed.

"... Please don't talk to me about 'cocking'."


End file.
